I began as what I believe to be a lost cause with CMHA, I was constantly being involved with Mobile Crisis rapid response, which is where I first met Lindsay. She was constantly showing up at my place with police as I was wanting to self-harm. I was indulging in a lot of risky behaviours that would cost me my life if I could not get the behaviours under control. Lindsay eventually took me under her wing, and is teaching me and working with me she believes in me even more than I believe in myself and I know she truly cares about me. Through working with her I have begun to improve and actually use the coping skills I have been taught rather than just being able to recite them. I am three months self-harm free and it feels great. I feel I could not have done it without the help from CMHA. Recently I spent the night at safe beds, because I was having a difficult time and had a stressor in my life. Rather than risk a possible hospital visit it was suggested to me I visit safe beds for the night. Upon arrival at safe beds I was treated like a person who mattered, and the staff respected my wishes. I cried while there, and the staff couldn’t have been more supportive than they were, they sat up and talked to me like I mattered and that meant a lot. I would recommend this program to anyone who might be struggling as I was. Recently I decided I want to put some purpose back into my life, so I got in touch with Pam and the real work program at CMHA. And we are in the beginning process of finding a job. In a life that I thought would be short lived and meaningless I am beginning to see the world differently. I now want to live each day, and so I take it one day at a time, I want to find purpose in each day, even if it is in the small things. I wake up everyday and struggle with self-harm thoughts and nightmares, but since actually implementing my coping skills I am better able to cope with these thoughts, through the use of my crisis plan.
Thanks for showing me that there is hope, in life and that I do matter.