I have been very fortunate
Caring people have been helping me – helping me to live a Life Worth Living
What a concept – living life
I’ve been use to just surviving a day at a time
Living life is something totally foreign for me
AND now I am on a Life Worth Living quest
Who would have imagined?
Now on this life quest of mine I’ve come across many unusual words
Once such word is Dialectics
It sounds like the answer to a crossword puzzle, or a Jeopardy question
But what is the question?
- What is “acknowledging that two opposite views can both be 100% true at the same time”?
Dialectics is at the heart of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy – DBT
Marsha Linehan created DBT to help her patients find relief from their mental distress
She saw her patients struggling
When she only validated her patients, her patients became unmotivated
When she only asked her patients to change, they felt pushed and invalidated
What was she to do?
She validated them AND she helped them change their behavior and DBT was born!
Note: (validate – to recognize the legitimacy of how one is feeling, or what one is experiencing)
In DBT we are challenged and taught skills to:
Accept what we cannot Change – Ourselves
Change what can be Changed – Ourselves
In Dialectics we have two opposite views AND both are true
It means we have tension and discomfort AND we learn how to live with this tension and discomfort
We learn to say:
I am doing the best I can (Acceptance)
I need to do better (Change)
Both are 100% true statements
3 THINGS TO KNOW about DIALECTICS:
- AND is In, BUT is Out
- No One Owns the Truth
- Factual Words NOT Extreme Words
- AND is In – BUT is Out
Two opposite views can be correct at the same time.
AND includes both views – BUT discredits (negates, invalidates) one of the views
|I can take care of myself|
|I need help and support from others|
- No One Owns the Truth
Find the kernel of truth in both sides of opposing views
- Finding a way to validate the other person’s point of view
- Your viewpoint has value AND I currently support another view
- Use Factual Words NOT Extreme Words
Extreme words make it difficult to find the balance of Dialectics
“Everyone always treats me poorly.”
Always & everyone – both extreme words
“Sometimes I am treated fairly AND at other times I am treated unfairly”
AND helps us to avoid extreme words
Now we know the basics of Dialectics AND we will continue to learn more.